The beginning of Motherhood!

I still couldn’t get over that I was now a mother, and not just a mother but a mother of a beautiful 6lb 11oz 20 inch baby girl! The overwhelming joy cannot be described until you have one of your own and meet her for the first time. 
I was so thankful that my hubby was able to have the time off of work to be with me while I adjusted to my new life and during the healing process of the caesarean.  I was so grateful to have such a wonderful man by side and a helpful one at that! He would tend to her for feedings, changing and every time she just woke up.  I was trying to breastfeed but found it difficult because of the incision but still tried to do what I could do.  I did find that pumping the milk was the best option for most times because Lloyd was helping out so much.  I did have a hand pump and because I was pumping so much wish I had an electric, but I did love my Medela hand pump overall, it got the job done!
Even though I had Lloyd around to help out for everything I was feeling like I was missing out on the beginnings of motherhood and that bonding time with my daughter.  I couldn’t stay up for long to change her, had a hard time sitting up to feed her… I felt deprived in a sense.  But as time went on everything got easier and I was able to move around more and was able to participate with the feedings, changing and the waking ups more. 
We did end up co-sleeping with our baby, yes they say that it is not recommended but it was what worked for our family in the beginning. More on getting her in her crib exclusively later.  Especially during my initial healing, I was able to wake up with her and help out more, made me feel useful. 
I’ve never undergone major surgery never mind an “emergency” one, so being “tied” down to bed rest was killing me! I wanted so badly to get up and move and feel human again, but it just slowed the healing process that much more.  I think that having major surgery and having a child do not mix well, mainly because there is so much to do with a newborn.  Where as pre-baby I would’ve been able to focus on me and would’ve healed that much faster… BUT we had a baby and I wanted nothing more but to focus on her. 
All this made me realize why so many women lose focus on themselves and forget that they need tending too.  I give my baby all that I can and do tend to lose focus sometimes, but when she is down and sleeping I try to give myself five (5) to 20 minutes for myself.  The small time for me includes catching up on reading (usually only at night), getting the baby’s scrapbook together, or even getting some of the backed up chores that need to get done.  Even Lloyd needed that little bit of time for himself; get in a little bit of his gaming on his PS3 but it was at least something.  The way I look at it, give your baby 110% but always set aside a little time for you.  My “mommy-time” is what has really helped me to stay centered.