I look back on the way things were for my mom, and now with a daughter of my own, I wonder how the heck did my mom do this?!
Having one baby is one thing but having multiples (two or more babies at one birth is a completely different thing and give these women a lot of credit for what they do). For my mom, by the time I was about 18 months my sister was born. So juggling one newborn and another who is not even two plus errands and housework. How do mom’s in general do this!?
Well before I had my own I thought it was simple, ok I lied I knew motherhood was tough but really?! when you don’t have children of your own, well at least in my experience, you just don’t understand 100 percent. Motherhood is definitely the hardest job I have ever had but hands down it is the most amazing, rewarding and fulfilling job I could’ve asked for and would never trade it for the world.
I keep asking the question: how do they do it? Now with a little of experience behind me I can now say “I just do it”! It's become a part of my life and go with the general flow of things. Sure before I could just pick up and go with no organizing or planning needed and yes sometimes (it is VERY rare) I can do it that way. But lets be realistic now, planning and organization is key… Where were these life skills back in college!
Planning and organization like I mentioned is one of the key ingredients to success with this job, for the most part (please keep in mind that this may just be me but hey I like to share). Keeping on task, which I yet need to manage to perfect or at least get there. I start one thing than get distracted by the baby and once all is said and done I forgot what I was doing prior and start something new. My mom would tell me that she would start cleaning lets say the upstairs bathroom get distracted with one of us kids forget about the bathroom and after would go start something else. Its not like she wanted multiple jobs started around the house and not finish them its only because not only does prego-brain affect most women during pregnancy but it carries through to motherhood – as I like to call it mommy-brain. After all is said and done my mom would have buckets all around the house because she would forget about the other job she started. I at first laughed about this until I caught myself doing something similar…
Well what I am trying to get at is that I have learned that there is no perfect way of doing things and parenthood is not a job that can be perfected. My mom got through things because she had to and it was a job that had to get done by someone. Children don’t come with instructions as all parents come to realize at some point or another and, of course, we all wish they did. This is definitely a job that you can’t learn from a book but by personal experience and with what works best for you and your family.
Now, I do what I can do when I can do it – my priority is my daughter and I do the best that I can do with how I know how to do it. If it didn’t work I’ll try and sort out another solution (my mom always told me those problem solving skills from school would come in handy).
Still unsure if I have really answered my own question but within I feel I have. All I know is is that I am thankful for my family and for doing the best that they could do with how they knew how to do it. Its nice to have that new bond with my parents now that I am one.
Showing posts with label parenthood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenthood. Show all posts
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Pros & Cons to Co-Sleeping
Co-sleeping was the one thing that I didn’t want to partake in with my newborn; well I wasn’t too keen on the idea. I used to feel to each their own and I’m sure it could work for some people.
Well after having a c-section and healing was up and down, Lloyd kept insisting that Sachiko sleep in the bed with us! YIKES! I was afraid I would roll on-top of her, squish her, bump her and so on, but night one went smooth. I also forgot that I could barely move as it was because of the healing process from post-surgery.
Lloyd also didn’t want our little one sleeping on her own as he felt her room was too cold for her, never mind the fact that he thought she was scared of sleeping alone. Either way he had a few good points and let him leave her in the bed with us. After a bit I loved having her there, the bed was nice and toasty on those cold mornings and was easier to tend to her when she woke up. She used to immediately go into screaming fits when she was hungry and wouldn’t let up until her bottle or my breast were in her mouth for feeding time!
Ok so I admit it, co-sleeping is great and it was extra bonding time with our daughter but really the only one con that I could think up was where’s the daddy and mommy time????? So those odd occasions that we were able to get her into her crib we took advantage of them. Movie in bed and lots of cuddling.
Later, I did discover one other con… it was when I felt it was time to work on getting her in her own bed, and for all the time. It took me a good three (3) weeks to even a month to get her sleeping thru the nights like she used to and so on. I’m finally up to 12 hours of her getting a solid sleep, sorry to those who are still struggling with early morning feedings, but my daughter is sleeping like a toddler. She was always a good sleeper from the start. She would wake up about every four (4) hours in the beginning, than every four to 6 hours by the time she was about four weeks old. When she reached her 2 month mark she was already sleeping eight to 9 hours at a time and when she reached the three month mark her sleeping time jumped to 12 to 14 hours. True bliss when you can get your infant to sleep all through the night.
I wanted to start getting her into her own bed by around two (2) months, I figured the earlier the better it is for her in the long run. I also happened to catch an episode of Dr. Phil, and I must say I’m not usually a fan of his show but this one I thought had some really good information regarding babies and toddlers. Apparently, its recommended to start getting your little one in their own bed around four (4) to 6 months of age because it just gets that much harder afterwards. One parent said her daughter was about a year old when she tried getting her into her own bed and every time she would put her to bed the child thought it was play time. This was one struggle that I didn’t want to have to endure later down the road. But with a little work and back to restless nights for about three (3) to 4 weeks wasn’t too bad and was worth it. She’s sleeping very successfully on her own for 12 to 14 hours at night and this has allowed to start to catch up, assuming I don’t get caught up in my mommy-time!
The best way that I found to get your baby to stay in their own bed all night was to keep them in their room. I would cradle her to sleep in her room and when she would wake up I changed her diaper and feed her a bottle in her room. She would never leave her room at night, so if I had to make a bottle I would lay her back in her crib until I came back with it. I think this also helped her to be more independent and more patient, she’s also gotten better with self-soothing herself. I’m very proud of my accomplishment with her and I’m sure if she understood a bit more she would be too! What worked for you? or are you still working on the transition?
Well after having a c-section and healing was up and down, Lloyd kept insisting that Sachiko sleep in the bed with us! YIKES! I was afraid I would roll on-top of her, squish her, bump her and so on, but night one went smooth. I also forgot that I could barely move as it was because of the healing process from post-surgery.
Lloyd also didn’t want our little one sleeping on her own as he felt her room was too cold for her, never mind the fact that he thought she was scared of sleeping alone. Either way he had a few good points and let him leave her in the bed with us. After a bit I loved having her there, the bed was nice and toasty on those cold mornings and was easier to tend to her when she woke up. She used to immediately go into screaming fits when she was hungry and wouldn’t let up until her bottle or my breast were in her mouth for feeding time!
Ok so I admit it, co-sleeping is great and it was extra bonding time with our daughter but really the only one con that I could think up was where’s the daddy and mommy time????? So those odd occasions that we were able to get her into her crib we took advantage of them. Movie in bed and lots of cuddling.
Later, I did discover one other con… it was when I felt it was time to work on getting her in her own bed, and for all the time. It took me a good three (3) weeks to even a month to get her sleeping thru the nights like she used to and so on. I’m finally up to 12 hours of her getting a solid sleep, sorry to those who are still struggling with early morning feedings, but my daughter is sleeping like a toddler. She was always a good sleeper from the start. She would wake up about every four (4) hours in the beginning, than every four to 6 hours by the time she was about four weeks old. When she reached her 2 month mark she was already sleeping eight to 9 hours at a time and when she reached the three month mark her sleeping time jumped to 12 to 14 hours. True bliss when you can get your infant to sleep all through the night.
I wanted to start getting her into her own bed by around two (2) months, I figured the earlier the better it is for her in the long run. I also happened to catch an episode of Dr. Phil, and I must say I’m not usually a fan of his show but this one I thought had some really good information regarding babies and toddlers. Apparently, its recommended to start getting your little one in their own bed around four (4) to 6 months of age because it just gets that much harder afterwards. One parent said her daughter was about a year old when she tried getting her into her own bed and every time she would put her to bed the child thought it was play time. This was one struggle that I didn’t want to have to endure later down the road. But with a little work and back to restless nights for about three (3) to 4 weeks wasn’t too bad and was worth it. She’s sleeping very successfully on her own for 12 to 14 hours at night and this has allowed to start to catch up, assuming I don’t get caught up in my mommy-time!
The best way that I found to get your baby to stay in their own bed all night was to keep them in their room. I would cradle her to sleep in her room and when she would wake up I changed her diaper and feed her a bottle in her room. She would never leave her room at night, so if I had to make a bottle I would lay her back in her crib until I came back with it. I think this also helped her to be more independent and more patient, she’s also gotten better with self-soothing herself. I’m very proud of my accomplishment with her and I’m sure if she understood a bit more she would be too! What worked for you? or are you still working on the transition?
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The beginning of Motherhood!
I still couldn’t get over that I was now a mother, and not just a mother but a mother of a beautiful 6lb 11oz 20 inch baby girl! The overwhelming joy cannot be described until you have one of your own and meet her for the first time.
I was so thankful that my hubby was able to have the time off of work to be with me while I adjusted to my new life and during the healing process of the caesarean. I was so grateful to have such a wonderful man by side and a helpful one at that! He would tend to her for feedings, changing and every time she just woke up. I was trying to breastfeed but found it difficult because of the incision but still tried to do what I could do. I did find that pumping the milk was the best option for most times because Lloyd was helping out so much. I did have a hand pump and because I was pumping so much wish I had an electric, but I did love my Medela hand pump overall, it got the job done!
Even though I had Lloyd around to help out for everything I was feeling like I was missing out on the beginnings of motherhood and that bonding time with my daughter. I couldn’t stay up for long to change her, had a hard time sitting up to feed her… I felt deprived in a sense. But as time went on everything got easier and I was able to move around more and was able to participate with the feedings, changing and the waking ups more.
We did end up co-sleeping with our baby, yes they say that it is not recommended but it was what worked for our family in the beginning. More on getting her in her crib exclusively later. Especially during my initial healing, I was able to wake up with her and help out more, made me feel useful.
I’ve never undergone major surgery never mind an “emergency” one, so being “tied” down to bed rest was killing me! I wanted so badly to get up and move and feel human again, but it just slowed the healing process that much more. I think that having major surgery and having a child do not mix well, mainly because there is so much to do with a newborn. Where as pre-baby I would’ve been able to focus on me and would’ve healed that much faster… BUT we had a baby and I wanted nothing more but to focus on her.
All this made me realize why so many women lose focus on themselves and forget that they need tending too. I give my baby all that I can and do tend to lose focus sometimes, but when she is down and sleeping I try to give myself five (5) to 20 minutes for myself. The small time for me includes catching up on reading (usually only at night), getting the baby’s scrapbook together, or even getting some of the backed up chores that need to get done. Even Lloyd needed that little bit of time for himself; get in a little bit of his gaming on his PS3 but it was at least something. The way I look at it, give your baby 110% but always set aside a little time for you. My “mommy-time” is what has really helped me to stay centered.
I was so thankful that my hubby was able to have the time off of work to be with me while I adjusted to my new life and during the healing process of the caesarean. I was so grateful to have such a wonderful man by side and a helpful one at that! He would tend to her for feedings, changing and every time she just woke up. I was trying to breastfeed but found it difficult because of the incision but still tried to do what I could do. I did find that pumping the milk was the best option for most times because Lloyd was helping out so much. I did have a hand pump and because I was pumping so much wish I had an electric, but I did love my Medela hand pump overall, it got the job done!
Even though I had Lloyd around to help out for everything I was feeling like I was missing out on the beginnings of motherhood and that bonding time with my daughter. I couldn’t stay up for long to change her, had a hard time sitting up to feed her… I felt deprived in a sense. But as time went on everything got easier and I was able to move around more and was able to participate with the feedings, changing and the waking ups more.
We did end up co-sleeping with our baby, yes they say that it is not recommended but it was what worked for our family in the beginning. More on getting her in her crib exclusively later. Especially during my initial healing, I was able to wake up with her and help out more, made me feel useful.
I’ve never undergone major surgery never mind an “emergency” one, so being “tied” down to bed rest was killing me! I wanted so badly to get up and move and feel human again, but it just slowed the healing process that much more. I think that having major surgery and having a child do not mix well, mainly because there is so much to do with a newborn. Where as pre-baby I would’ve been able to focus on me and would’ve healed that much faster… BUT we had a baby and I wanted nothing more but to focus on her.
All this made me realize why so many women lose focus on themselves and forget that they need tending too. I give my baby all that I can and do tend to lose focus sometimes, but when she is down and sleeping I try to give myself five (5) to 20 minutes for myself. The small time for me includes catching up on reading (usually only at night), getting the baby’s scrapbook together, or even getting some of the backed up chores that need to get done. Even Lloyd needed that little bit of time for himself; get in a little bit of his gaming on his PS3 but it was at least something. The way I look at it, give your baby 110% but always set aside a little time for you. My “mommy-time” is what has really helped me to stay centered.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Labour and hospital time!
My contractions jumped so quickly, from one (1) hour apart to 15 minutes to eight (8) minutes and so on. So my contractions, that I remember, started at seven (7) P.M. and I was at the hospital for 1:30 A.M.
The nurse hooked me up to their machines, gave me a clicker/button to use for when the baby made movement, and blood was drawn as well as the I.V was put in. The machine was having a hard time reading the baby’s heartbeat and I felt no movement from her either. The doctor moved me to a birthing room maybe a half hour later to monitor the baby a bit more closely.
They set me up for an epidural, which is so painful. The anaesthesiologist gave me the first needle to numb the area for the epidural, but in my humble opinion, it didn’t do anything for the pain that that needle caused me! WOW! it felt like the needle was being wiggled into my spine and than I felt a very cold serum enter into my spine and ALL of the pain from the needle and the labour disappeared! Sorry I can’t even lie about it…
Shortly after, my doctor was having a hard time getting the babies vitals. Every time I would have a contraction her vitals would drop, he broke my water and tried to “tease” her to get her to move around and still nothing. Next thing I know I’m getting prepped for a caesarean.
While I was in the operating room Lloyd had to wait outside until they were ready, I am so happy that he was able to be there to support me and be by my side. The doctors were in and doing their job and all of a sudden we hear a “Whoa”, all the nurses and doctors were in a sense shocked at what they saw…
Short panic on my end in my mind – is my baby ok?!?! But next thing I know I hear “its a girl!” come from over the curtain and a small wince from babes. Everything was ok! The whoa was because the umbilical cord was in a true knot and the doctor showed us from over the curtain. Wow! This what was causing the babies vitals to drop every time I had a contraction, and I was so thankful for the steps that the doctor took to take care of me and most importantly my beautiful baby girl!
The doctors were doing a quick clean up of the baby and testing her Apgar Score and they called Lloyd over to see her and to take pictures. He brought her over to me and all I could say to myself was oh my God she’s a mini-me and absolutely perfect!
It was official, we were parents of a perfect and healthy baby girl – 6lbs 11oz 20 inches long. I didn’t even think about myself and the upcoming recovery, all I could think about was my new family, the overwhelming feeling for becoming a mother for the first time. Welcome baby Sachiko (her names means happy child in Japanese and she was named after her great-grandma).
I was so grateful for the actions that my doctor took to make sure that both me and my baby were healthy, and of course to my loving husband for never leaving my side and being the man that I fell in love with. I can’t forget my little munchie boo; am so grateful to have her in my life and from that point on ward I couldn’t imagine my life any differently! She is the perfect addition to our family and am excited to watch her grow!
This is one job that is the hardest job I have ever had but it is absolutely the most rewarding job that I will never want to give up. My life is that much more complete with her here!
The nurse hooked me up to their machines, gave me a clicker/button to use for when the baby made movement, and blood was drawn as well as the I.V was put in. The machine was having a hard time reading the baby’s heartbeat and I felt no movement from her either. The doctor moved me to a birthing room maybe a half hour later to monitor the baby a bit more closely.
They set me up for an epidural, which is so painful. The anaesthesiologist gave me the first needle to numb the area for the epidural, but in my humble opinion, it didn’t do anything for the pain that that needle caused me! WOW! it felt like the needle was being wiggled into my spine and than I felt a very cold serum enter into my spine and ALL of the pain from the needle and the labour disappeared! Sorry I can’t even lie about it…
Shortly after, my doctor was having a hard time getting the babies vitals. Every time I would have a contraction her vitals would drop, he broke my water and tried to “tease” her to get her to move around and still nothing. Next thing I know I’m getting prepped for a caesarean.
While I was in the operating room Lloyd had to wait outside until they were ready, I am so happy that he was able to be there to support me and be by my side. The doctors were in and doing their job and all of a sudden we hear a “Whoa”, all the nurses and doctors were in a sense shocked at what they saw…
Short panic on my end in my mind – is my baby ok?!?! But next thing I know I hear “its a girl!” come from over the curtain and a small wince from babes. Everything was ok! The whoa was because the umbilical cord was in a true knot and the doctor showed us from over the curtain. Wow! This what was causing the babies vitals to drop every time I had a contraction, and I was so thankful for the steps that the doctor took to take care of me and most importantly my beautiful baby girl!
The doctors were doing a quick clean up of the baby and testing her Apgar Score and they called Lloyd over to see her and to take pictures. He brought her over to me and all I could say to myself was oh my God she’s a mini-me and absolutely perfect!
It was official, we were parents of a perfect and healthy baby girl – 6lbs 11oz 20 inches long. I didn’t even think about myself and the upcoming recovery, all I could think about was my new family, the overwhelming feeling for becoming a mother for the first time. Welcome baby Sachiko (her names means happy child in Japanese and she was named after her great-grandma).
I was so grateful for the actions that my doctor took to make sure that both me and my baby were healthy, and of course to my loving husband for never leaving my side and being the man that I fell in love with. I can’t forget my little munchie boo; am so grateful to have her in my life and from that point on ward I couldn’t imagine my life any differently! She is the perfect addition to our family and am excited to watch her grow!
This is one job that is the hardest job I have ever had but it is absolutely the most rewarding job that I will never want to give up. My life is that much more complete with her here!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
